Classes start on Monday, the 25th. I still need to get two books.

I still need to get the house cleaned:

*sort throw kids’ toys to get rid of things they don’t use/play with anymore

* clean up my desk and reorganize it

* shampoo the dining room carpet

*clean up mudroom/backporch and shampoo that carpet too

*rearrange all of my soap and candle supplies and pack up some of the unused for now

*find a sitter for the days I have too much school work to get done

*finish filling these orders I have at hand right now

With soccer games all day long, every Saturday, this takes a big chunk out of my time that Jamie could be here to help me get some stuff done - or at least have him occupy the kids while I get something accomplished.

Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be blogging right now. Maybe I should be working on getting something done around here….

Honey & Spice Barbecue Sauce

• 3/4 c. tomato powder*
• 3 1/2 c. water*
• 2 tsp ground chipotle
• 5 large garlic cloves, minced**
• 1/2 c. honey
• 2 Tbsp chili powder
• 2 c. brown sugar (packed)
• 1 Tbsp cumin
• 1/2 c. minced onions**
• 1 Tbsp dried red peppers**
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 2 Tbsp white distilled vinegar
• 2 tsp ground mustard

Mix all ingredients in a large pan on the stove. Bring to a boil, stirring often. Lower heat and allow to simmer for 10-15 minutes. Pour into sterlized pint-sized jars. Top with lids and rings - tighten down rings. Put jars into a pot of boiling water, allowing at least 1-2 inches of water above the lids. Hard boil for 15 minutes. Remove from water. Lids should seal within 2-3 hours at the most.

*You can substitute tomato powder for 2 1/2 cups of tomato sauce and 1/2 cup of tomato paste and then add in only 1/2 cup of water instead of the full amount.

**You can grind up the onions, garlic & peppers to make a pulp, or you can leave them diced and minced like I did.

Makes for an excellent marinating BBQ.

Pickled Dilly Beans

• 2 lbs. fresh green beans (w/ ends snapped off)
• 4 small garlic cloves
• 4 tsp. dill seeds
• 2 1/2 c. white distilled vinegar
• 2 1/2 c. water
• 2 tsp salt
• 4 pint-sized sterile canning jars & lids

Wash beans but do not snap them (except for the ends). Peel the garlic - mince if desired. Put one clove of garlic in the bottom of each jar and 1 tsp dill seed. Fill each jar with green beans - leave 1/2 in. head space at top of jar. Bring vinegar, salt, and water to a boil. Pour over beans, leaving 1/4 in head space. Top the jars with the lids - tighten rings down. Place jars in a pot of boiling water, covering lids of jars with at least 2 inches of water. Boil hard for 5-10 minutes. Remove from water. Lids should seal within 2-3 hours at most.

Dilly beans should sit on the shelf for at least a month allowing them time to develop their flavor. The longer they sit, the stronger their flavor.

*For a spicier dilly bean, add a bit of red pepper flakes, ground chipotle, or cayenne pepper to the bottom of each jar before filling with beans.

The garden has been beautiful. I think I have at least another 6 weeks before the plants are done producing. The green bean plants are on their third round of spitting out beans, the corn is still growing and filling out the ears, and the cabbage (I’ve cut one head out already) is looking great!

It’s full of vegetables - overflowing with tomatoes. Before this summer, I had never heard of Lemon Tomatoes. I bought a couple of plants and thought, why not? They are so delicious! So full of “meat” and hardly no acid.

I’ve had some funky tomatoes:

and a close up of that: Kiss My Tomato

A lot of not-so-ripe-tomatoes that I had to pick early and put in the window to ripen. They were getting sunburned on the vine and going bad. So letting them fully ripen in the window has worked best:

and the funny picture - on second glance we noticed the “bouncy ball tomato” in the center

With all of these tomatoes, what in the world can be done with them?

Well of course! Mix them with onions, cucumbers, vinegar, water and a bit of sugar. YUMMY!

And no doubt there has to be some fresh salsa made from them, too.

And then some cold packed canned salsa:

Now on to other photos from the garden:

Cabbage:

Banana Peppers:

Jalapeño Peppers:

Cucumbers:

Watermelon:

Zucchini:

Sweet Potato plants…will dig them up in about 6 weeks to see if they are ready:

Corn - now these plants didn’t grow very tall. The ears aren’t that big either for Bodacious Corn. But they sure were good.

And here’s my first harvest of Mint Leaves - I muddled them in the bottom of a glass of water with lime juice! YUMMY! :

I cannot even put my thoughts into complete words on this. Much like the war in Iraq. And the US tourist (family of a US coach) killed in China.

There are no words.

The thoughts are all swirling around in my head so fast that I can’t seem to bring them to a single thing to say that might sound half intelligent right now.

Do you think I can talk my sister into NOT reenlisting next month? I just want to be selfish for awhile. Keep her home. (How long will “home” be considered safe?) The 250 miles between us right now on homeland are nothing compared to the miles between us when she is deployed.

I am remembering everyday why there was a time in my life I was so scared to have children because of the kind of world they would grow up in. I don’t regret having kids at all, but I am terrified of their future in this world that doesn’t spin ’round anymore. It seems to have bounced off of a few other galaxies and landed itself in a cold world of hatred.

We didn’t start the fire No we didn’t light it But we tried to fight it……..

when the school year is set to begin. School supplies are bought, fees are paid, shoes are new, and attitudes are through the roof! We all forget how *BIG* 2nd and 3rd graders can be - ugh!

I am very happy and excited about my daughter’s teacher this year. I remember my son’s teacher from when I was in school, but I don’t know much about her now. I remember her as being strict, but not mean. That’s a GREAT choice of a teacher for him. He needs strict.

I am very much ready for school to start. (5 days and counting down) Not as much ready for the kids to be gone all day long, but more ready for a reliable schedule. I love the timely schedule of the school year. I love getting up in the morning and shipping the two older kids off to school, and then sitting here with my cup of coffee while reading the news online and checking my email before the youngest rolls out of bed. I love the peace and the serenity of being alone in the mornings - even if it’s not for that long. I enjoy the quiet!

12 days after they return to school, I start back. 13 credit hours and $551 for 4 books (that I have yet to buy b/c the school is very slow with the student loans this year) - I am going to be swamped! Three nights a week will be spent at soccer practice. Every Saturday will be spent watching soccer games. Sunday spent at church. That leaves me not much time to get my work done. Did I mention that all of my classes will be online this semester? That makes them a bit harder…

Okay, I will not freak out on all of that just yet.

This Saturday morning is the kids’ Preseason Soccer Tournament. They are on different teams this year (different divisions by age) but their games are at the same time during the tournament. That’s kinda good, kinda bad. Their fields are right next to each other, so that’s a good thing. Plus not having to spend endless hours at the park with nothing to do in between games is good too. But if we miss a play b/c we were watching the other kid - oh boy! Too bad I can’t look both directions at the same time.

My niece is being baptized (Christened) this Sunday. We were invited to an expensive restaurant to eat afterwards. We won’t be going. I cannot fathom spending $30 on one meal out to eat right now let alone $70-$100 it would cost for my whole family to eat there. (if not more) Sorry guys, we will be eating at home after the Christening.  I’ll save some of that money for the gas pump prices.

His birthday isn’t today, but we are celebrating it today. Though I do know that nine years ago today I was at the doctor wondering why my blood pressure was so high and I was so swollen. Two days later I went back and they sent my directly to Labor & Delivery because my bp had skyrocketed even higher. 190/110.

Immediately I was hooked up to an IV and petocin was started. (Of course after my doctor tried to strip my membranes.) From 2 in the afternoon until after 10 that night, I labored, walked, swayed, rocked, and hurt. By ten I was still only dilated to 1cm so they stopped the petocin to let me rest for the night. That didn’t happen.

I continued to labor all night long. Not as hard, but still uncomfortable. Quite uncomfortable! It started to pick up a bit stronger right before 6, which is when they came in to start the petocin again. Within a couple of hours, the contractions were piggybacking on each other and I was dying! Ever contraction sent painful, HOT, stabbing sensations down my legs. I seriously thought my legs were going to catch on fire and burn off!

The nurses and doctor came in and decided they needed to stop the petocin as my contractions were too close and too hard. Odd, I thought. Isn’t that what they were supposed to do?

Right away the contractions started to wither away…not completely, but a heck of a lot easier than what they were.

Around 10, they started the petocin once again. This time the contractions didn’t hit quite as hard all at once. But within an hour, here they were all over again. By this time I was in tears!! I begged for something to help the pain. All they offered was an epidural. Fine! Whatever! Just GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the epidural was all hooked up and going and I was numb from belly to toe, I fell asleep. I would wake up every couple of minutes as a contraction came and went. (Did I say I was numb? Yep, I was. I couldn’t feel my legs. I couldn’t feel my butt. I couldn’t feel my toes. But I could feel the contractions. Not enough that they hurt, but enough to make me aware of them.)

My husband sat beside me watching the Cubs game on TV. I think I forgot to mention that he had been there the whole time, trying to rub away the back labor, trying to help with what he could… I sent him outside because I found myself being mean to him and I shouldn’t have been. He was trying, I was yelling. He was helping, I was hurting. So, he went outside for a bit while I got the epidural and found control over myself again. Then he came back in the room.

A few minutes after 1pm, I was more sleepy than awake, but yet, I was too nervous to sleep. I watched the Cubs game, and saw Mark Grace (my all time fave player in the history of baseball) hit his 12th homerun of the year. At the smack of the bat hitting the ball, my water broke! And I don’t just mean broke, I mean exploded. I turned to Jamie and said, “My water just broke,” just as calm as can be. He was looking at me with HUGE eyes and said, “I heard it!” And out the door he went.

The nurse came in and changed my bed chuck, checked me and told me I was about 5-6 cm. 23 hours and I was only 5-6 cm?? Oh my goodness!

My in-laws came in to visit right after that. I told Jamie that they really needed to leave. I was uncomfortable, wasn’t sure what was going to happen and when, and I just wanted to be alone.

Right after they left, I sent Jamie out to get the nurse. I had the most awful, intense pressure and then knew what it meant to have to push without the choice of not pushing.

The nurse told me to go ahead and start pushing. Every 90 seconds the contractions would peak, but I only had about 10 seconds in between contractions. So, I pushed and I pushed.

This went on for over an hour! FINALLY, the nurse went to go get the doctor. In came more nurses and the doctor and one of the nurses was pushing a metal cart covered with blue sterile towels. When they uncovered the cart, I saw all of these scalpels, needles, etc - OH HECK NO!!!!!!! Why did I not read more and prepare myself more for this delivery?

Then started the complications. The baby was stuck. They could see his head, but they could see the back of his head, not the crown. The baby would not budge. Push after push, he was stuck. My doctor got the vacuum out and started suctioning my baby’s head, trying to move the baby into position better. Finally, it came down to the doctor just trying to suction him out of me because he wasn’t moving on his own or with my pushing.

FINALLY the head was out! Two more pushes and the shoulders were out. One more push and there was this baby in the doctor’s hands. No sounds. No movements. Then, “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” WHEW! Then my first question came, “What is wrong with my baby’s head?”

The back of the baby’s head was a huge blue lump. It was gross looking, but it was only temporary. It was from the vacuum, and would go away. WHEW!

The doctor cut the cord, held up the baby, “IT’S A BOY!!!!” and away he went to the other side of the room with the nurses.

Come to find out, my baby was not positioned right at all. He was head down, but he wasn’t facing my back as he should have been. He was turned to the side, with his chin tucked down on his chest and his shoulders/neck were trying to come out first. That was not fun. Nor was the 45 minutes it took the doctor to stitch me up inside and out.

But in the end, it was all okay. It was all beautiful. I was finally a mommy, and I had the most beautiful baby boy in the world weighing in at 6 pounds 11 oz and was 19.5 inches long.

And now, almost 9 years later, weighing in at 55 pounds and 51 inches tall, he’s still beautiful, he’s still amazing, but he sure can be a pain in the neck at times

In 9 years we have went from diapers to undies, from a crib to a bed, from the breast to a cup, from Blue’s Clues to Pokemon, from an infant to a boy. Through trial and error on motherhood and parenting, I know that I am the best mom that I know how to be. And he was the perfect son to have for my firstborn child. If I could go back and do it all over, the only thing I would change is getting that epidural sooner!

I haven’t weighed myself yet today. Haven’t worked out yet, which I always weigh myself right before. (in the afternoon hours)

Arm (largest part between shoulder and elbow) 11.5 in

Chest (right below breasts) 31.5 in

Waist (even with belly button) 30.5 in

Hips (big ole’ booty) 38.75 in

Thigh 22 in

Calf 14

Ankle (right above ankle bone) 9.25

We all know Toyota pulled their Tundras from production in their California plant.

We all know that Ford isn’t doing so hot either.

While I have felt for a long time that the economy is in turmoil, that the price of gas and groceries are outrageous; that I can find just one more thing to cut back on and live cheaper; nothing has hit me like the setback today brought.

With all of these faults in the automobile industry, my husband’s job was hit hard today. Jamie works in a factory that makes bumpers and sidesteps, etc for Ford and Toyota trucks. Today was the day that demotions, lay-offs, and the end of employment for some people came to a realization.

While my husband wasn’t fired or laid off( Thank you, Jesus); he was demoted, losing pay and hours.

We have cut out extras. I have internet because I am a student taking classes online to save the gas and time and daycare fees. I have a cell phone because I am under a contract for the next year and a handful of months. We did shut of Jamie’s phone because his contract had expired. I have DirecTv, not just for my sanity and at times a breath of relief when the kids get interested in a show and sit still for a few minutes watching it, but I am also under a contract with them.

I buy in bulk at the cheapest that I can. I don’t buy many convenience foods. I make most everything from scratch. I grow my own vegetables, make my own jelly, can my own veggies, bought and had a cow slaughtered this year to save a ton of money on meat. We hit up a lot of yard sales, thrift stores and hand-me-downs for clothing needs for the kids.

We recycle, reduce, and reuse as much as we can. I hang the clothes on the line to save energy from using the dryer. I cloth diapered my youngest. I even made some of his diapers and crocheted his wool longies and shorties for diaper covers. When I run bath water, I save the cold water in a bucket to use for mopping the floor, watering plants, etc, and when the water turns warm, I fill the tub for baths. I make our own soap, shampoo/shaving bars, laundry soap, stain remover, and lotions.

We have been hypermiling for awhile now, and while it is paying off in a small way, it is still helping. We plan doctor’s appointments (when they can be), grocery shopping, errand running, etc. for a single trip to save more on gas and time. We don’t eat out at all. If we will be gone during a lunch or dinner time, I pack sandwiches to take with us, and we always have sports jugs full of water with us.

The only extra curricular activity the kids have is playing soccer on the local fall soccer league. Outside of that, they have went to Vacation Bible School this summer at three different churches: ours, their friend’s sister’s boyfriend was teaching at another church, so they went there with the friend, and this week they are going to that friend’s church. Each church offers a different theme, while still being positive and encouraging to the kids. They love it, as do I. Next week they will be going to my brother’s church where his wife will be teaching one of the classes. They can’t wait for it.

What I am getting at is we already have cut back in big ways. We don’t buy extras. We don’t take extra outings. For fun, we go hiking on the sloppy, muddy trails and walk through the stream that runs through the middle of the trails at the local state park. We play baseball and basketball with the kids in the yard - last weekend Jamie and I had the kids laughing so hard at us being goofy while playing whiffle ball. It was great. We walk/run/jog around the block with the kids. We take them to the park a block away. We watch movies in our living room while sitting on a blanket on the floor with a bowl of popcorn: the only movie theater you can pause the movie in for a quick bathroom break.

While the world seems like it is out to get us today, we will survive. God willing, we will make it through this. I will still continue life at the frugal ways I have been living, while attempting to find more frugal ways to do things. While I am stressing right now, and fighting off the anxiety that has been building in my chest and heart, I know that we will survive this.

While a lot of bad things can come from this, we have to find the good. While we can’t take a vacation, or fly to Alaska to see the land we will someday own and live on (my dream!), we will camp in our backyard, roast hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire, and live life one day at a time. While it isn’t pretty right now, it could always be worse. Right now, I am praising God that it isn’t.

I was cleaning out my son’s closet this morning and found my old high school sketch pads. It’s been a long time since I have looked at them. Took me back to the days when Nirvana, Live, Jim Morrison, & White Zombie rocked my world. Wow! How things have changed! The days when my own style in clothing, choices, and life were not at all like those of most everyone else around me. (Oh, wait, that is still my life today.) Here are some examples of my life back in the day: (I took pictures of them because my scanner is broken.)

From the back of White Zombie’s La Sexorcisto album:

Need I explain? Charcoal drawing outlined in sharpie

Major dates in the life of Kurt Cobain

The sketch planning of a painting I did after my cousin and best friend, Troy, took his life at the age of 15. I gave the painting to his Grandma. Troy was a genius (no joke at all), loves music, playing his guitar, and was on the High School Bowling League with me. His top game was 220 during league games. Right after he passed away, I bowled my high game of 209, 99 points above my average, and won first place in that tournament, giving me a spot in the state competition for Women’s Handicap. I placed 33rd for state. If I had never known Troy, I would never have bowled. If I had never known Troy, I would never have known a lot of things in life, including what it feels like to have my life changed in a fraction of a second by a pull of a trigger. My life changed that day - the beginning of the person I am today.

Self portrait - the difference between me and you. I am a puzzle put together by the many colors of life. I refused to darken my world; instead, I became the prism of color as I blacked out everyone and everything else I cared about for a long time. I refused to let my eyes shed a tear - so my lips are what spewed out the beginning of the river.

Chalk Smudging

LIVE!! I still love LIVE! I saw them in concert, my first concert when I was 16. Their music described my life. Waitress; I Alone; Dam at Otter Creek (refer back to my self portrait)… I didn’t realize before that you could see the page beneath this one when I took the picture. Aw well - Live goes on (yep, I meant it that way)

More kiddish type drawings from when I was 15. When I was trying to be the good kid and not look beyond the cartoons of life:

I had never read any books by Nora Roberts until recently. Now, I can’t get enough of her.

Angels Fall was the first one I read. It was an amazing read. The two main characters were perfected in words.

I was sad when the story was over. It was the perfect ending, but the same as when I watch a good movie, what happens next? I always want to know more: the next step in their lives; are they going to do this or that? I don’t want to imagine what happens next, I want the rest of the story. But since books and movies never give you that, I will say this story was it. It’s the book that has to be read.

The next book of Nora’s that I read was Blue Smoke.  It was another great book. It moved fast and never left me hanging. The main character had a huge, wonderful family that played a big part in the story.  It wasn’t hard at all to figure out who the mysterious person was in this book, but then as I continued reading, I realized that he wanted everyone to know who he was. Definitely a book I am glad that I read.

Now I am on the hunt for some more of her good works. If you know of any must reads of NR’s, please, please, leave a comment with the name of the book. School starts again in less than a month for me and I  need to read as much as I can before then as I will have no free reading time for myself.